It's Sunday morning and ideally I should be in bed to get enough sleep for church but I for some weird reason decided to abandon sleep fully aware of the potential effects my decision would have on me during the day.
Let's forget about split milk cuz that sleep ship has sailed and I have chosen to blog...yippee.
To those 6/7 bloggers who pretty much reminded me about the existence of this blog, thanks. I can see myself expressing myself here more often. The downside of this blog is that it enables me to express my weakness,struggles and afflictions openly, which may not always be a good idea. Don't get me wrong I share my feelings with people, but typing it out is like multi-sharing and reiterating painful facts. GOD forbid that the most of me truly is sad...(for a second there I focused on my faults and hurts, excuse that, I'm not a hurtful vessel)
So what did I spend my early, heavy eyed Sunday morning doing? you-tubing and I came across a few things I'd like to share.
We spend a whole lotta of our finite time worrying and wondering about the next point of action, crossing our fingers that our plans go well, fidgeting from the thought of things crumbling in our faces (because trust, we think everything that happens is by our own power...#delusional), channeling 50%+ of our energy towards unforgiveness, believing lies because we're too scared to face the truth and in all of this we forget that Christ is our lifeline, in Him we move, we breathe, we live, we love, we embrace, we progress. In Him, we are connected to the true source, the true vine, we are watered, we have peace, hope, faith. I've wondered the point of a life with no reason for tomorrow. A life where everything is done in hopeless repetition, one where an embrace of a false fact of a finite lifetime is routined with no purpose. A chosen life of denial. The bible talks about how the wisdom of man could destroy him and its amazing how true that is but on the flip side a man whose wisdom is objectively curious would create him. A man who finds out the facts because he wants to grow is a man worthy of admiration.
As I spent my early hours of 'daybreak'....lol(I've always hated that term) you-tubing, I came across this video, which I endorse 100%. We need to refocus our attention because in the end, a life with no God is really just an purpose less act. What's the point?
A lotta the time we look at the next person as either beneath us or above, forgetting that we are all flesh. No one is better than the next in my opinion. The Lord holds all our sins as outwright sin!. There's no sin that is better than the next or smaller than the next and we all sin. Even the greatest of the greatest, sin (If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. - 1 John 1:8)
, the difference is that some people are expected to behave better because they have received more (....For to whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required...Luke 12:48)
We walk up to the next person searching for answers. Imagine this there's a big ball in the middle and around it is everyone in the world, standing at different points, it is apparent that everyone would see something different or understand it a different way but in the end they would agree on it when they come around to look at it from the other person's angle. That's how I feel the word of God is. I'd probably see it as purple from where I stand just cuz of the reflection of the light and you'd see it as green from your angle but when I eventually come around to the central point to study it, I'd discover that it truly is orange. In short, discovering God for yourself pays more than hearsay or just plainly feeding off someone else cuz when it all boils out to the fact, we're all flesh!
We sin, we fall, we fail, we lie, we cheat, we're incompetent and no matter how many billions of times we try to handle life in our own way, by ourselves, it would all be to no avail. Truth be told, we suck at this human race! big time sucking!
In this race, its one man; one God. Not one church, one God. In the end, it'll be me being judged by my actions, not one group vs God. So we best do our best 100%, all day everyday. Its easier to err than to do the right thing #fact, but it pays to do right :D
I should prolly get to the shower...lol #churchtime
#exesandohs my darlyns...have a blessed, awesome week, day, etc
till I'm back...asta la vista...lol
...in the storm...
I'm at a standstill, running and yet still, still.
Life is full of a whole lotta hardship. Its not that I'm just discovering this, its just that each time I relive it, it hurts. I know the storm wouldn't last, my lifetime, but while I'm in the storm, it feels like it would never end.
I refuse to list the things that are on my mind, the things that seem to linger in my head for too long cuz each time I say it out loud, the reality hits me with worries. Truthfully, I'm in a full blown state of confusion, each turn is a question and each decision is doubt.
I know the LORD would see me through and I don't type it or speak it to convince myself, I'm fully convinced. Yea, yea no one said life would be easy but with God, we'd get through it all on our knees, with our faith and with our actions. He's delivered me, supported me, raised me countless times but the faithlessness in me, weirdly has the audacity to wonder if he'd do it again.
I feel awful!
but I'd be fine, I always end up being fine.
Enuff of my ramblings that say practically nothing, I just dropped by to say I'm in a storm that seems like it could totally be the end of me but repeatedly I remember, I don't fight my battles, I never have, I never will, Jehovah Nissi always has, and always will!
Imma get back to y'all and dump my testimony cuz before a harvest, a breakthrough or deliverance is a trial, a test and temptation.
He dares to plaster a legitimately genuine smile on my face, while masking my pain and iniquity, but I'm not mad @ that, infact, I'm glad!
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